Babysitter Jokes

How much for that babysitter?

Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why was the phone busy all night?

Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?

She swallowed

Who's yours?

Me: The babysitter

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Violinist Jokes More Violinist Jokes

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?

Both are offensive and inaccurate.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the kid say to his mother right before he went to India?

Mumbai

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

Duct Jokes More Duct Jokes

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water...

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many recruits does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to change the lightbulb and four road guards.

How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yarn.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why can't Elsa hold a balloon?

Because she might Let it Go

What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel?

IM Groot.

Fire Department Jokes More Fire Department Jokes

Why was the phone busy all night?

Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

Why do fire departments have dalmatians?

To help the firemen find the hydrants

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why is Bruce Lee so good at telling jokes?

Because if his punch line doesn't work, you still get a kick out of it.

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

Arab Jokes More Arab Jokes

What does the arabs put in their Mexican food?

Allah-penos

What is an Arabs favorite fighting technique?

Hijab