Bilbo Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

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How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What do you call a pompous Hobbit?

Bilbo Braggins

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

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Bilbo Baggin Jokes More Bilbo Baggin Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why didn't Peter Jackson cast any black actors in The Lord of the Rings?

He was afraid they wouldn't be taken on their merits, that they'd just be seen as Tolkien blacks.

Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.

Hobbit Jokes More Hobbit Jokes

What do 8 hobbits make?

A hobbyte.

What did The Hobbit say to the Japanese man as he was leaving?

Shirenara!

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?

They can lighten your load!

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?

Snakes and Larders!sna

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

Why arent the Americans playing chess?

They are missing two towers.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

What's a boxers favorite joke?

Punchline.

What's the difference between a contradiction and a punchline?

There's no punchline for this joke.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you get when you throw a baby against a wall?

An erection

What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

No hard feelings.