Cousin Jokes

What did the two rednecks say after breaking up?

Let's just be cousins.

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What's the worst hereditary disease?

Cousins

Why did Albert Einstein marry his cousin?

Because she was his relative

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

What does the south call friends with benefits?

Cousins.....

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?

A spot-weiler!

What does non-alcoholic beer and going down on you cousin have in common?

Sure they taste the same, but it just ain't right.

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Relativity Jokes More Relativity Jokes

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is the difference between a feminist and a machist?

The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.

Why is Italy's birth rate decreasing?

Because they pull out at the last second.

Texans Jokes More Texans Jokes

Why do Texans duel at high noon?

They distrust clocks.

What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room?

A full set of teeth

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

Prove Jokes More Prove Jokes

Why do men stare at a woman's breasts?

To prove they can focus on two things at once.

Why did the tofu cross the road?

To prove it wasn't chicken. &gt:

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

What belongs to me but is used the most by others?

My ex-wife

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What is the proper weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds.......not counting the urn!

What do you call the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch voting?

Counting Crows

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

What time should you book dental appointments for?

2:30 (Tooth hurty!)