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Discipline Jokes

How do you discipline your pet rock?

You hit rock bottom!

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

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Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the last-place olympian say after someone stole his sled?

What have I got to luge

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What's the difference between a gun and a radical feminist?

A gun only has one trigger.

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

Why are radios cheaper in Scotland?

Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried.

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?

Partial arts.

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

Statistic Jokes More Statistic Jokes

What do you call the statistics for the total amount of waste produced by the US this year?

Gross

What's the most racist math discipline?

Statistics.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

What are the three words you dread the most while making love?

Honey, I'm home.

Pet Rock Jokes More Pet Rock Jokes

How do you discipline your pet rock?

You hit rock bottom!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune?

Oh, Plebes.

Why did Hydrogen hurt Iron?

Because he wanted to see him Sulfur.