Enlighten Jokes

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one.

What did one archeologist say to the other archeologist when he screwed up?

I've got a bone to pick with you

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room?

You get a solid-state frizzicist.

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue.

How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

FORE!

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What are feminists best at in mathematics?

TRIGGER-nometry

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny...

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, anarchists can't change anything.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish?

Lightbulb.

Racist Jokes More Racist Jokes

What do you call a person that worships NASCAR?

A racist!

Helium Jokes More Helium Jokes

Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements?

Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!

Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.