Gas Station Jokes

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

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What do you call a family that runs a gas station?

Pump kin.

What's wrong honey?

My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*

Why is Thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?

They ostrich-sized him

What did the man say to the fly?

Hey.. you're looking fly

Gas Jokes More Gas Jokes

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do you call the german version of Harry Potter?

Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas.

Windshield Jokes More Windshield Jokes

How do you get an Asian to crash their car?

Make the windshield full screen

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

Handicap People Jokes More Handicap People Jokes

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

Why do handicapped people wear shoes?

Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye.

Thanksgive Jokes More Thanksgive Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

Why is Thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate?

Because he was running on CP time.

What did the Pelican say to the fish when he was running late for work?

I'll catch you later!

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

How do thieves kiss?

They make out like bandits.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Fill Station Jokes More Fill Station Jokes

Where does the dentist get his gas?

At the filling station

What's another name for a Dentists?

A filling station!