Half Life Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

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Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you get when you cross the Cosby Show with Law &amp Order: SVU?

Women Say the Darndest Things

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What kind of fun do priests have?

Nun

Why does a priest never get married?

Because they got nun to love them

Valve Jokes More Valve Jokes

What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other?

Same time next month?

What do you call a symphony where everyone plays at the same time instead of taking turns?

An chestra.

Uranium Jokes More Uranium Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?

He got atomic ache.

Half Life 3 Jokes More Half Life 3 Jokes

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Blow a little boogie into it!

How do you make a candle really happy...?

Blow it out, it'll be delighted

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the hacker do when the police came for him?

He ransomware.

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)