Half Life Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

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What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

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Aborted Fetus Jokes More Aborted Fetus Jokes

What do they call aborted fetuses in Prague?

Cancelled Czechs.

Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday?

Half Life 3 Confirmed!

Uranium Jokes More Uranium Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?

He got atomic ache.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm?

Biting an apple and finding half a worm

What has got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog!

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What did the little boy say to the priest?

Haha, now we have AIDS

What's a priest on an egg called?

A brother

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.

What are the strongest days?

Saturday and Sundays. The others are weakdays

Half Life 3 Jokes More Half Life 3 Jokes

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once

What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil?

One's a fruit, you idiot.