Half Life Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

You might also enjoy:

Ignore Jokes More Ignore Jokes

Which among them goes completely ignored?

The turn signals.

What is the most-ignored rule in a convent?

Lights out at nine, candles out at ten.

Illuminati Jokes More Illuminati Jokes

What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!

How do you find Illuminati's secret hideout?

You triangulate their position!

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What do you think of Miles Davis?

He kind of blew

What did the pirate say when he walked into the brothel?

Arggg! thar she blows

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

What days are strong days?

Saturday and Sunday, because the rest are weak days.

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's the average lifespan of an owl?

About six and a half books.

What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup?

I, 4-1, know we won't win.

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What's a priest on an egg called?

A brother

Why was the priest also an imam?

Double the prophet.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the Italian chef died?

He pasta away

What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?

They lived hoppily ever after!

Aborted Fetus Jokes More Aborted Fetus Jokes