Heisenberg Jokes

Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.

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Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

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Momentum Jokes More Momentum Jokes

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

Bad Lover Jokes More Bad Lover Jokes

Why do robots make bad lovers?

Nuts &amp bolts!

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

Commute Jokes More Commute Jokes

Why does Torque live on campus?

Because cross products don't commute!

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

Where do you want to go?

So I click on the 'Home' icon and it starts all over again.

What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home?

Cantaloupe

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

When driving through fog what should you use?

Your car.

Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident?

It could be your car

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you get in the Netherlands, when you fail your driving test three times?

A yellow license plate.

What car does Catwoman drive?

A Purrgeot.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

How do you make a Sea Lion?

You remove an electron from a Seal!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One Brazillion.

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?