Heisenberg Jokes

Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?

When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

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Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

What happens when a sane person posts on a far right sub and a far left sub?

Removed

Why is Kim Jong Un a terrible leader?

Removed

Energy Jokes More Energy Jokes

What do you call a love story between resistance and energy?

Omhmeo and Jouleiet

What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage?

The energy bill...

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why don't you play with your friends?

He asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

Why do Native Americans hate it when it rains in April?

Because it brings Mayflowers.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

Why did Richard leave his home this morning?

For Harambe.

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?

Ayyyy watch it homes!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

When will the Jared jokes stop?

When they get too old.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What does Putin say during his New Year's speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

Why did the math student fail his exam?

He needed to sketch the sine and cuisine graphs but only knew how to do cos(-x)

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

What do numbers look like when they get divorced?

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's what interns are for.

How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, anarchists can't change anything.