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Jeremy Clarkson Jokes

What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear?

SPEEEED!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

What do Whitney Houston and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on Top Gear.

What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...?

A smile!

What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number?

Nought two sixty.

What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse?

He can't do 'top gear' anymore!

What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on top gear.

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Gear Jokes More Gear Jokes

What do you call an Orangutan, a tortoise and a hamster in cars?

Top Gear,

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

What is the difference between a church and a cult?

Their Punch.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?

Dirty looks from the mouse!

How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable?

He tried to stirrup some interest!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?

The type of gas used.

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?

Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why is Charlie Sheen always seen smiling?

Because he's so damn positive!

Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?

There are 48 heads in her box - of course shes happy!

Whitney Houston Jokes More Whitney Houston Jokes

What was Whitney Houston's favourite kind of co-ordination?

Haaaaannnnndd eeeyyyyyyeeeeee

What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston?

One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What do you call coffee on the floor?

Ground Coffee.

Amy Winehouse Jokes More Amy Winehouse Jokes

How could they tell Amy Winehouse was dead?

No, seriously. How could they tell?

What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.