Jeremy Clarkson Jokes

What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear?

SPEEEED!

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What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

What do Whitney Houston and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on Top Gear.

Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine?

Because they'd been floored by his punch.

What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...?

A smile!

What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number?

Nought two sixty.

What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse?

He can't do 'top gear' anymore!

What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on top gear.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

Why does the USA use F?

The rest of the world has varying degrees of communism.

Pin Jokes More Pin Jokes

How do you call a play on numbers?

A pin.

What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth?

RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time?

He doesn't know he's black.

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Whitney Houston Jokes More Whitney Houston Jokes

What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston?

One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard.

What was Whitney Houston's favourite kind of co-ordination?

Haaaaannnnndd eeeyyyyyyeeeeee

Amy Winehouse Jokes More Amy Winehouse Jokes

How could they tell Amy Winehouse was dead?

No, seriously. How could they tell?

What did Amy Winehouse have in common with the Ghostbusters?

They both downed spirits.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What's the difference between a computer and a woman?

A computer only has to have information punched into it once.

Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch?

Holm School

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What would be the perfect theme song to Oscar Pistorius kicking trying to kick down a bathroom door?

Good Vibrations

Why are people who vape always trying to chase after bigger clouds?

More storage space.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

What did one architect say to the other?

I see the floor in your plan.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.