Amy Winehouse Jokes

What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

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What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse?

About 204 days.

What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse?

He can't do 'top gear' anymore!

What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on top gear.

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How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

The bow is moving.

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Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

Whats reddits favorite tv show?

The OC.

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What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...?

A smile!

What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number?

Nought two sixty.

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What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...?

A smile!

What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear?

SPEEEED!

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What's your spirit animal?

An eagle. They're so majestic." MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave

What do you call ghosts that haunt liquor stores?

Spirits

Scotch Jokes More Scotch Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

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What do John Belushi, Jim Morrison, John Candy, Jimi, Hendrix, and Janice Joplin have in common?

They all died Jung.

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What does an empty bottle of Champaign and an orphan have in common?

Nether of them have a pop.

What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?

He was convicted of fragrancy.