Neil Jokes

Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

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What's the most unfortunate name a prisoner can have?

Neil.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?

Oc The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

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Buzz Aldrin Jokes More Buzz Aldrin Jokes

What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did?

Gize.

Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Bacon

How many members of the NRA does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More guns.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How long is the movie?

I need to know what time to pick her up.

How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

Brick Jokes More Brick Jokes

What is Klaus Teuber's (designer of Settlers of Catan) favorite TV show?

Brick and Orety

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.

What do you call a black man walking down the street?

A pedestrian.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How long does it take to burn a candle down?

About a wick!

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Prisoner Jokes More Prisoner Jokes

What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail?

Cell Phones.

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&ampT jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth?

Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom.

Why are oceans so salty?

Because the Earth is always tilted.