Occupant Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

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Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Why couldn't the Italian man start his car?

Gnocchi

Spray Jokes More Spray Jokes

What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*

What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder?

Spay it don't spray it.

Actor Jokes More Actor Jokes

Which actor is always criticising churchgoers?

Christian Slater.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Nyc Jokes More Nyc Jokes

What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

Blacksmith Jokes More Blacksmith Jokes

What do you call it when a blacksmith makes something white?

Irony.

Why do blacksmiths go to jail?

Forging.

Librarian Jokes More Librarian Jokes

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

According to the Gooey Decimal System.

Why are librarians so shy?

Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What kind of math can you do with light?

Refractions

How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.

Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.