Spray Jokes

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you called being pepper sprayed at UC Davis?

Occupational hazard.

Why did the girl spray her clock?

It was full of ticks.

What did the priest say when watering his garden?

Let us spray.

What have men and spray paint in common?

One squeeze and they're all over you.

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder?

Spay it don't spray it.

What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*

What did the Skunk say at Church?

Let us spray

What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?

Your grandparents.

Whatever shall we do?

Let us spray!" replied the other.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?

Hare spray.

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Tourist Jokes More Tourist Jokes

What do you call a smart person in America?

A tourist.

What do you call a good looking girl in Wisconsin?

A Tourist!

Puerto Rican Jokes More Puerto Rican Jokes

How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican?

They tell you.

What did the Puerto Rican dish say when he lost his Android?

Where'd mofongo?

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why couldn't the dwarves renew their lease on the Lonely Mountain?

It failed the Smaug test.

What do you call a failing brand?

Calvin DeKlein.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

How far can this plane go with just one engine?

All the way to the crash site!

Why would anyone ever want to fly Virgin Airlines?

The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn't go all the way.

Console Jokes More Console Jokes

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed?

The console. What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray.

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

Who's there! Brother! Brother who?

Brother-ation I've forgotten your name!

Why so glum Chum?

Asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why do Americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.