Italy Jokes

Who wins?

Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides.

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What's a bigamist?

It's a large fog in Italy

What do you get when you're sick in Italy?

Pox Romana

Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'?

River Derci. Sorry.

Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

Where do poor people live in Italy?

In the spaghetto

How many people live in the lower part of Italy?

There are literally Sicilians.

What are the rough parts of Italy called?

The spaghetto.

What is the size of women in Italy?

Itali-cized.

What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy?

When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, "Merci!".

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What is the poor part of Italy called?

The spaghetto

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Why is the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy?

It's Italicized

Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

What's the best selling soft drink in Italy?

Dr. Pepe

What do you call a sketchy place in Italy?

The "spaghetto"

Why wasn't Christ born in Italy?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag?

Ones in a cup

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What is the name of the guy with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

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Because he had no body to dance with!

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How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?

Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

Why didn't the bicycle cross the road?

He was two-tired...

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Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

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What are the rough parts of Italy called?

The spaghetto.

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What word in the dictionary is always spelled wrong?

Wrong.

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

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How do Southerners get through customs so quickly?

They do declare!

Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

What is it called when a large piece of foliage is the same on both sides?

Symmetree.

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What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag?

Ones in a cup