Nyc Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

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What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

How many square feet are in the average NYC apartment?

Zero. Feet are feet shaped.

What's the difference between a yellow cab and a green cab in NYC?

The green cabs haven't ripened yet.

What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why planes are faster than car and buses?

Because they are almost never **tired**.

Why wouldn't they let Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she was a woman

Horn Jokes More Horn Jokes

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

What gives milk and has a horn?

A milk tank!

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?

By opening the car door.

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?

Attire.*

Why did little timmy fall off his bike?

Because someone threw a canoe at him!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why is my hand 11 inches long?

Because if it were any longer it would be a foot!

What has three feet but no legs?

A yardstick.

Ripen Jokes More Ripen Jokes

What do you do with a green ghoul?

Wait until it ripens.

What's the difference between a yellow cab and a green cab in NYC?

The green cabs haven't ripened yet.

Harlem Shake Jokes More Harlem Shake Jokes

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

What's the Harlem shake?

Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King