Nyc Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

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What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

How many square feet are in the average NYC apartment?

Zero. Feet are feet shaped.

What's the difference between a yellow cab and a green cab in NYC?

The green cabs haven't ripened yet.

What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

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Sun Jokes More Sun Jokes

What do you do with a green monster?

Put it in the sun until it ripens!

Why doesn't the sun need to go to University?

He's too bright.

Horn Jokes More Horn Jokes

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

Occupant Jokes More Occupant Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does the "LL" in LL Cool J stand for?

Lickin Lips

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something?

They're two-tired.

What kind of bikes do girls ride?

Menstrual Cycles (I'm 99% sure I made this up!)

Shape Jokes More Shape Jokes

What did the square say to the blob?

You're out of shape.

What's square-shaped and yellow?

A yellow box

Harlem Shake Jokes More Harlem Shake Jokes

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