Ounce Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

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What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

What's the pound's new name?

The ounce

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call people waiting in line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

What do you calll a woman that people sit on?

Cher!

Eric Clapton Jokes More Eric Clapton Jokes

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs?

He was shot in the face.

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

Because they would crack each other up.

How do you tell the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite Muslim?

The Sunni's are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs?

He was always horsing around.

Pepsi Jokes More Pepsi Jokes

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a fire on the beach?

Bernie Sanders

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist?

He couldn't stop dropping the base!

What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?

Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers