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Personality Jokes

What do engineers use for birth control?

Their personality.

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What does an IT guy use for birth control?

His personality.

What did the banker use for birth control?

His personality

What does an accountant use for birth control?

His personality.

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

What do you prefer, flat or sparkling?

Him: Water Me: No, my personality.

What do accountants use for birth-control?

A. Their personalities.

Whats around $5000+ and enhances personality?

Breast implants.

What does an IT guys use for birth control?

His personality.

What does a violin player use as birth control?

Their personality

What, why?

Is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

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Buck Jokes More Buck Jokes

What did the Doe say when she came out of the woods?

I'm not doing that again for two bucks.

What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common?

For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

Who is a Chinese feminist's least favorite Winnie the Pooh character?

Trigger.

What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world?

El Taco Lips.

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

What did one ovary say to the other one?

Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

What does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Sleigh-er

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

What do you call a love triangle between a white person, a black person and a Native American?

Neapolitan.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you open a banana safe?

With a monkey.

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What song do the zombies of Westeros sing?

The Brains of Castamere.

What happens when you sing a country music song backwards?

You get your wife, truck, and land back.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.