Pharmacist Jokes

What's the opposite of a pharmacist?

A harmacist

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What is the difference between a black guy and a white guy that sells drugs?

One's a pharmacist and the other's a drug dealer.

How did the pharmacist know his drink was spiked?

He fainted after the punch line.

What's taking the pharmacist so long?

It's just one prescription" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*

Why do pharmacists put cotton wool balls in all of their drug bottles?

To Remind black people that they were cotton pickers before they were junkies.

Why can't Whitney Houston be a pharmacist?

She over doses

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

Why was the black man selling drugs?

He was a pharmacist.

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Why is the magnet on medication?

Because it's bipolar

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

Whitney Houston Jokes More Whitney Houston Jokes

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse?

About 204 days.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?

You won't find a Lambo in a landfill.

What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster?

The train got windows

Counter Jokes More Counter Jokes

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why does the hobo only drink coffee?

Because he has no proper tea!

What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What do you call a black guy who was stabbed by a Mexican?

An ambulance.

Why did the black guy wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.