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Reprimand Jokes

What do you get when you cross a weasel with a whale?

A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?

Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

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Research Grant Jokes More Research Grant Jokes

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Hell you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?

A mad scientist.

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

What did the angry octopus say to the octopus that made him mad?

POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW Right in the kisser!

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?

Two octopuses shaking hands.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

What's roughly 6 inches long, has a head on it, and women love it so much that they often blow it?

A 20 dollar bill

Ethic Committee Jokes More Ethic Committee Jokes

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?

Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?

A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.

Weasel Jokes More Weasel Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?

Ground Beef

Why did they stop feeding cows the round bails of Hay in Texas?

Because they weren't getting a square meal.

Suspend Jokes More Suspend Jokes

Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school?

Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

What do you call a group of whales playing music together?

An Orcastra

Why was the whale lonely after his date?

The other whale didn't humpback.