Weasel Jokes

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

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What do you get when you cross a weasel with a whale?

A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

What about the weasel?

That's the punchline. Comment with the lead up and may the best one win.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the superhero flush the toilet?

It was his duty!!!! told to me by my 7yo son

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

Recognise Jokes More Recognise Jokes

Why does China hate Digimon Fans?

Because they recognise Ty won

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

Why couldn't the chord get into the bar?

She was A minor.

Reprimand Jokes More Reprimand Jokes

What do you get when you cross a weasel with a whale?

A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?

Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag?

Grounds for termination!

How do tennis players prefer their steak?

Wimbledon and nicely served.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a guy with a vasectomy and a guy without a vasectomy?

There's a vas deferens.

Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

Pop Jokes More Pop Jokes

What do you call a dad balloon that disappears?

Pops

What does an orphan and a bottle of champagne have in common?

They both lost their pop.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"