Weasel Jokes

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

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What do you get when you cross a weasel with a whale?

A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

What about the weasel?

That's the punchline. Comment with the lead up and may the best one win.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

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Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub?

Because there's a BartEnder there.

What's the difference between a mixologist and a bartender?

About ten minutes.

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party?

There's no punch line.

What do you do when a woman serves you bad sushi?

Sue she

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did the man say when he walked into a bar?

Ouch!

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does an elderly composer use as a walking aide?

A Zimmer frame

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a cow isn't listening to you?

Everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder!

How do you know whether or not a redditor is Australian?

They'll tell you.

Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

What about the weasel?

That's the punchline. Comment with the lead up and may the best one win.

Reprimand Jokes More Reprimand Jokes

What do you get when you cross a weasel with a whale?

A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?

Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

Immediate Withdrawal Jokes More Immediate Withdrawal Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?

Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?

A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.