Retirement Home Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

What's the difference between the east-German and the west-German accent?

While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.

Silk Jokes More Silk Jokes

Whatever happened to silk underwear?

Fell through the cracks.

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts?

Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"

What's a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Alligator Jokes More Alligator Jokes

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?

Because it was on old croc.

Why couldn't the alligator satisfy his lover?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

Plastic Jokes More Plastic Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?

They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

It was 2 tired...