Alligator Jokes

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

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Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later.

What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?

An investigator.

Which alligator lives in the Arctic?

The refridgegator.

What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes?

An Investigator.

What's green and bad for your eyes?

An alligator.

What did the Alligator say to the turtle?

Can I bayou a drink?

What is the primary job of an alligator?

Make allegations

What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator?

A caiman like a wrecking ball.

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What do you call an alligator that wins a race?

A chompion. (7-year old me thought he was very clever.)

Why won't alligators attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

What do you call an alligator that always starts fights?

An instigator!

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?

Because it was on old croc.

What do you call an alligator that starts something?

An insti-GATOR!

What do you call an alligator with a map?

A Navigator.

Whats the difference between a chicken and an alligator?

I don't know.

Who's there! Alligator! Alligator who?

Alligator for her birthday was a card!

How often do I see alligators?

Ocajunally

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

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Why did the alligator wear a vest?

He was an investigator!

What is worse than an alligator with toothache?

A centipede with athlete's foot!

What do you call an alligator who likes to wear vests?

Gt- () An investigator

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?

The spelling and pronunciation.

What do you call a crocodile when it robs drinks?

Gator-raid.

What do you call am alligator in a vest?

An illogical situation imagined by a child.

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You will see one later and one in a while.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator!

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What do you give an injured alligator?

Gatorade

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What you call a crocodile covered with tortillas?

A tacodile

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You will see one later and one in a while.

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How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later.

What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch?

Moo Mitch, get out the hay

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How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for his Birthday?

He felt his presents.

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

Happy Birthday To Gnu!

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Why so the French line their streets with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade

What's yellow has long ears and grows on trees?

The Easter Bunana!

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How an Illuminati living in the Arctic is called?

An Igloominati

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the Arctic?

Knot cool

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What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury.

Why does Torque live on campus?

Because cross products don't commute!

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Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

Why did Europe start the first World War?

They did't like being sans-Ferdinand.