Silk Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Whatever happened to silk underwear?

Fell through the cracks.

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Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

What do ghosts get arrested for?

Possession.

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt?

Lacoste intolerant.

What has wings a long tail and wears a bow?

A birthday pheasant!

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Who lands first?

The Italian. The black is tied to the tree.

What do you do with the time saved?

Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!

Whats the difference between the English cricket team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you with a dying chemist?

Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!

What do people do when a chemist dies?

They barium.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

What did the sprinter with diarrhea do during the race?

He activated his bo...

Why did Gandhi lose the race?

I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny?

He heard little boys pants were 50% off...