Plastic Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?

They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head?

I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.

What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner?

Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

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What's the expiry date on plastic?

81(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UYwYdFdoecA/0.jpg)

What is the cost of plastic surgery?

Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What is long, hard and leaves a warm, white, sticky substance in your mouth?

Toothbrush.

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor?

Black humor - 12 children in one trash can Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children

Why was the woman with no children so good at konami games?

She takes contraceptives.

Xbox Jokes More Xbox Jokes

What does a Bills fan do when they win the superbowl?

He turns off his xbox.

What game console do Latinos use most?

XBOX JUAN

Ur Jokes More Ur Jokes

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

If u say its not ok they give it to u for free

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What is Eminem's favourite food?

Wraps

What's better than a tall woman wrapping her legs around you?

A short woman trying like hell.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Grocery Jokes More Grocery Jokes

Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries?

Traitor Joe's

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh