Plastic Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?

They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head?

I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.

What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner?

Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?

They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

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Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

What's the expiry date on plastic?

81(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UYwYdFdoecA/0.jpg)

What is the cost of plastic surgery?

Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic

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What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner?

Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner

Whats the opposite of nickle back?

Bill front (Money jokes i got em)

Chest Jokes More Chest Jokes

What is the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

I've never had a Lentil on my chest.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?

I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do priests have lots of kids?

They always use the holy condoms.

Why could the chef not cook a tree branch?

Because he used a non-stick pan.

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Why hasn't Mexico won any medals in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can swim well, jump high and run fast are in the United States.

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What are your thoughts on new soup technology?

I say Progresso at any cost.

What is the cost of plastic surgery?

Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic

End Jokes More End Jokes

What word starts with F and ends with UCK?

Firetruck

What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

Retirement Home Jokes More Retirement Home Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Plastic Bag Jokes More Plastic Bag Jokes

How do you get an elephant in to a plastic bag?

First you take the 'T' out of 'Tesco', what do you get Esco. Then you take the 'F' out of 'Weigh', what do you get

What Is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One is white, made of plastic, and very dangerous if left around small children. The other is a plastic bag.