Secret Service Jokes

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man is shot?

The Secret Service

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

You might also enjoy:

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?

Some people are against shooting guns.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep?

He's resisting a rest!

What do the Police and Pokemon have in common?

They gotta catch 'Jamal

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

It stole the show!

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the King's Justice join Run DMC?

Cuz he be Ilyn.

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What are Hillary's convictions?

The FBI hasn't announced her indictment yet, but hopefully it will lead to at least one

What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures Edit: credit to Joe Biggs rambobiggs

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Why did the chicken get into so much trouble?

Because of its fowl language.

How are you doing in arithmetic?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why did the bros take a shot of alcohol together?

Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.