Secret Service Jokes

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

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Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

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Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

What did the man say after Michael Jackson stole his coat?

Hey that's mycoat Jackson!

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What do you do when a bird attacks you?

Duck.

How do ducks fly high?

They use quack!

Stiff Jokes More Stiff Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

He's the stiff one.

Spot Jokes More Spot Jokes

How can you spot the rank of a Russian?

By the stripes on his Adidas jumpsuit.

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

Why can't you keep a secret in a cornfield?

There's too many ears

Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field?

Because, corn has ears!

Donald Duck Jokes More Donald Duck Jokes

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

Who's no chicken?

Donald Duck.

Al Gore Jokes More Al Gore Jokes

How do you find an inconvenient proof?

With an Al-Gore-rithm

What's Al Gore's dancer name?

Algorithm.

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

What's on at the cinema?

Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

Why are birds always short on cash?

Because they have bills.