Soviet Union Jokes

Why did nobody in the Soviet Union drive manual cars?

They were afraid of Stalin'

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do motors and the Soviet Union have in common?

Commutators

Why couldn't the Soviet Union get anything done?

They were always either Russian or Stalin.

Why did the Soviet Union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

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Lenin Jokes More Lenin Jokes

What do you call it when Lenin, Trotsky, and Stalin get together for a drink?

A communist party

What are Russian clothes always made out of?

Lenin.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why can't children watch pirate movies?

Because they're rated

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to take credit for it.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Why do soviet policemen travel in groups of three?

One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

What does a soviet call someone with good vision?

Glasnots.

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

Why did the Germans loose WWII?

They kept Stalin around.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show?

They were all Nervous-Rex

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!

Vaxxer Jokes More Vaxxer Jokes

What's the worst gift to give to an anti-vaxxer?

Blankets.

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

What did the digital clock say to it's Mother?

Look Ma, no hands!