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Walter White Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

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What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke?

Nothing, because he is the one who knocks.

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?

Because HE is the one who knocks.

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.

What did Walter White teach?

Advanced methematics.

What is Walter White's favourite band?

Well it's not Saving Jane, that's for sure.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do you get when turn three blondes upside down?

Two brunettes and a red-head.

How does one turn a fox into a pig?

Marry her.

White Privilege Jokes More White Privilege Jokes

When Does This White Privilege Thing Kick In?

Do I have to ask them to resend the authentication email, update my address or do I have to go to my local white privilege depot to request the trial edition of white privilege before I get the real thing?

What do "white privilege" and "severely mentally handicapped" have in common?

Both terms are almost universally misunderstood by the people to whom they apply.

Cast Jokes More Cast Jokes

Why didn't Peter Jackson cast any black actors in The Lord of the Rings?

He was afraid they wouldn't be taken on their merits, that they'd just be seen as Tolkien blacks.

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

How does the leper give directions?

It's straight ahead, just my finger".

Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What food is given to ebola patients?

Pizza because it can be slipped under the door.

What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza?

Even if it is cold it's still good.

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Spaghetto Ba-dum tss.

Jessie Jokes More Jessie Jokes

Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie?

White privilege

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about necrophilia?

When you get stiff before she does.

How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!