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Cast Jokes

What do you cast a containment device out of element 28 in?

MOVIES!

I Love Pizza & You
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Who did they cast as The Hulk"s dog?

Bark Roofalo

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

What mythological monster casts no reflection?

All of them.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

Why didn't Peter Jackson cast any black actors in The Lord of the Rings?

He was afraid they wouldn't be taken on their merits, that they'd just be seen as Tolkien blacks.

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends?

The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.

What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

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What's the reason Bollywood Cast parties are awkward?

They think Cast is spelled with an e.

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

Whatever for?

Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.

Why did the dog say he was an actor?

His leg was in a cast.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

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Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What piece of bedding can also be known as a Mexican blanket?

The underlay! underlay!

What'd the Mexican say when he was upset?

I don't want to taco bout it.

Ken Jokes More Ken Jokes

Why is Barbie not pregnant?

Because Ken came in a different box.

Why did they never make a pregnant Barbie?

Because Ken always came in another box.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

What has two legs and can't stand up?

Half a cat

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

What's black and all over the place?

Michael J Fox's signature.

How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake?

Give it to Michael J Fox

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?

What game are you watching?

I wonder what she thought I was doing with my hands.

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?

You don't get a lollipop afterwards

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Vibrate Jokes More Vibrate Jokes

Why did Frodo set his cell phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.

What's a Jackhammer's Best Friend?

Cast Steel! Bahahahahah! You know! Cause it has a poor dampening value it vibrates so much! They um. They both vibrate. Well ok. One vibrates, the other reciprocates. That's kinda... Hehe. Heh. Reciprocate my humor damn it!

Hehe Jokes More Hehe Jokes

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?

What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe