Willie Nelson Jokes

What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

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What is the last thing you want to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson' Credit: old joke via: Norm Macdonald

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson.

What gets higher with age?

Willie Nelson

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

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Word Jokes More Word Jokes

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

Row Jokes More Row Jokes

What's the Cuban national anthem?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat...

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid?

He was told not to play with his food.

What do you say to a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. She's already been told.

Garth Brooks Jokes More Garth Brooks Jokes

What's all this?

Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks...

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you?

They grit their tooth at you.

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty.

Willie Nelson Concert Jokes More Willie Nelson Concert Jokes

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.