Willie Nelson Jokes

What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

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What is the last thing you want to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson' Credit: old joke via: Norm Macdonald

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson.

What gets higher with age?

Willie Nelson

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

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Why did the chemist break his teeth?

He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon

Why didn't the monster use toothpaste?

Because he said his teeth weren't loose.

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

How did Steve get the clues?

Blew the dog

What's the difference between an orphanage and a beach ball?

You won't go to prison for blowing up a beach ball.

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What do you call an aging chef with an unfaithful wife?

A cookold.

What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time?

The Age Of Ultron.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

Why were the camels wearing sandals?

To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.

100 Leg Jokes More 100 Leg Jokes

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

What has 100 legs and 3 teeth?

A centipede on meth.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

What does a radical, Democrat and Republican have in common?

They both want to make money off of other people's work!

Record Jokes More Record Jokes

What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

Bad Possible Thing Jokes More Bad Possible Thing Jokes

What's the worst possible thing to hear while you're blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson." David Sadaris