Tooth Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Bare Grylls

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What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

What happens if you game so much you forget to brush your teeth?

You get Halo-tosis.

What's a dentist's favorite time?

Tooth hurty

Why are there hardly any dental professionals in the South?

Because it takes more than 35 patients to make a full set of teeth.

Why do bees sting?

They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?

He didn't understand Flossophy!

What's got no teeth and smells?

The gearbox in the wife's car...

What time are most dental appointments scheduled for?

Tooth hurty.

What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush?

You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.

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What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper?

Nothing. He just grit his teeth.

What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla?

My zipper!

What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room?

A full set of teeth

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?

Your teeth!

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

How can you tell an old person from a young person?

An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.

What do you call a butler with a new set of teeth?

An endentured servant

Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?

Because it goes right out of your head.

What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?

A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Why didn't the monster use toothpaste?

Because he said his teeth weren't loose.

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What helps keep your teeth together?

Toothpaste.

What do you get if you cross teeth with candy?

Dental floss!

Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?

Because they fought both tooth and nail!

How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you?

They grit their tooth at you.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?

Your teeth.

Why did the chemist break his teeth?

He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon

How are you related to the sun?

Because your teeth are the same colour as it.

What has teeth but no mouth?

A comb or a saw.

What kind of bears don't have teeth?

Gummi bears.)

What's an old carpenter's biggest issue?

Losing teeth.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder?

So he could shoot his mouth off.

What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar?

Buck teeth!

Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship?

All they will do is fight tooth and nail!

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?

Fill me in when you get back

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

What is the best thing you can put in a pie?

Your teeth!

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?

He wanted something to get his teeth into.

What did the tooth say to the dentist?

Fill 'er up!

What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room?

A full set of teeth.

What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?

Hard cheese.

What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

Thar's gold in them thar fills.

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

Why don't ducks have teeth?

Too much quack.

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What time should you book dental appointments for?

2:30 (Tooth hurty!)

Why did twoface go to the dentist?

He dented his tooth

What did the blonde's dentist find?

Teeth in the cavity.

Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth?

He didn't have a Gar

What's the best hour to book a dental appointment?

Tooth hurty.

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.

What do you get with a room full of 32 Alabamans?

A full set of teeth

Which two letters are rotten for your teeth?

D K

What has a mouth but no teeth?

A river.

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

What to do you call an old dentist?

A bit long in the tooth

Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth?

To prevent tooth DK.

What do you say to a woman with only one tooth?

Nice tooth.

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty.

What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A Brick.

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!

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West Virginia Jokes More West Virginia Jokes

Who's the poorest person in West Virginia?

The Tooth Fairy.

What do they do in West Virginia for Halloween?

Pump Kin

Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

Sue Jokes More Sue Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

Why did the post office get sued?

For Mail-Practice!!

Al Gore Jokes More Al Gore Jokes

What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

An algorithm.

What do you say when Al Gore writes computer code?

He's writing an Algorithm!

Endanger Jokes More Endanger Jokes

Why are frogs on the endangered species list?

Because they croak a lot!

What animal is endangered by tooth decay?

Molar bears!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why didn't the man go to dat place?

Cuz dis-place-ment a lot to him.

Why did the man put a dead tiger on his lawn?

To scare off Cat burglars!

Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

Why did the TSA hire a dentist?

To help with the cavity searches

What time do you go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.

Grandpa Jokes More Grandpa Jokes

How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!