How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do you call inexplicably missing aioli?

Awoli.

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Whats the favored pasta dish among ISIL members?

Baked Yazidi............ I know where I'm going after this life

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

How do you keep your hair from blowing everywhere when you drive in a convertible?

Cross your legs

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why was the tree in prison?

Because it broke every branch of the law.

Why does Paris have tree lined streets?

Because the German army likes to march in the shade.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars

What's WRONG with me?

I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air?

Pupil: It's stolen!

What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

Freshen Jokes More Freshen Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!