How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do you call a shirt missing its sleeves?

An ampu-tee.

Why are storm troopers so clingy?

Cause no matter where you're at they'll always miss you.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What are the 2 rules of success?

No1: Don't tell everything you know.

Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who?

Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why do Americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive?

THESE are the brakes!

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

She fell out of the tree.

How can you tell you are in a math teacher's garden?

All the trees have square roots.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What's the difference between a firstborn prince and a baseball?

A baseball is thrown to the air.

What lies upside down a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

Freshen Jokes More Freshen Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!