How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What is Lionel Messi's favorite soft drink?

Si, era Missed

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a short person that knows Martial Arts?

Midjitsu!

How do you know you're speaking with an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who is driving the car?

The police.

What car does Woody drive?

AUDI ADUI ADUI!

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night!

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?

There may be leavesdropping

What's worse than having 10 babies nailed to a tree?

One baby nailed to 10 trees...

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango