How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why was the robot cold?

He was missing his winter gear

What did the boy say when his dog died?

I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call a car that you only drive in the fall?

An autumn-mobile.

What type of car would Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

What's the exchange rate for pigs and trees?

A porcupine.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What's worse than fighting an uphill battle?

Getting to the top and realizing it's all downhill from there.

How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

Why can't a fish be a radio host?

Because if he goes on air, he'll die.

What lies on it's back a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

Freshen Jokes More Freshen Jokes

How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener