How do you stop a baby from walking in circles?

Pin its other hand to the ground.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

When you're away on a business trip, do you think about me?

Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away their little brooms!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Why did the blind man walk into a wall?

Somebody shot his dog

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why should you never play poker with a crocodile?

You will lose every hand.

What do you get when you have two balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call a baby Matt Damon?

A new-Bourne

How does a black woman know that she's pregnant?

The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons.

Circle Jokes More Circle Jokes

Why did the dog run in circles?

He was a watchdog and needed winding.

How does a one armed man row a boat?

In a circle.

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

What is the hardest part about sky diving?

The ground.