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What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus Play Hockey???

Because he doesn't want to be nailed to the boards.

Where did the seaweed... Where did the seaweed find a job?

In the "Kelp Wanted" section of the want-ads.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Why did they never make a pregnant Barbie?

Because Ken always came in another box.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What's on at the cinema?

Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a witch is racist?

See if she'll perform black magic.

How do you tell if water is true or false?

Bring it to a bool.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What did the coffee shop owner's wife say when she discovered he wasn't using Free Trade beans?

That's grounds for divorce!

What's the difference between a divorce and a tornado in the south?

Nothing. Either way someone is going to lose a trailer

Ray Charles Jokes More Ray Charles Jokes

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he's married.

What rings twice and screams once?

Ray Charles answering the iron