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What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

Mourning wood

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a Pirate who lost his anchor?

Can't anchor us" /bow.. this is as clever as i get, people.. so sorry.

How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired?

He drove people bananas!

What happens when a controlled fire goes out of control?

Someone gets fired.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did the plumber cry?

His family died.

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY!!

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

2x4 Jokes More 2x4 Jokes

What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination?

He sawdust.

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

Mourning wood