What do you call a 2x4 that lost its fa...

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

What do you call a nun lost in the woods?

A Roamin Catholic.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What did the Doe say when she came out of the woods?

I'm not doing that again for two bucks.

How did Pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger?

One was fired, the other was terminated

Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?

He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between a folk singer and a pepperoni pizza?

A pepperoni pizza can actually feed a family of five.

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

2x4 Jokes More 2x4 Jokes

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

Mourning wood

What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination?

He sawdust.