2x4 Jokes

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

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What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

Mourning wood

What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination?

He sawdust.

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What is the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four

Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?

One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.

Why did Mr. T reject Marxism?

Because Marx said "You have nothing to lose but your chains."

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey anymore?

He kept on getting nailed into the boards.

How did Jesus lose his virginity?

When he was nailed on the cross.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

What did the match box say to the match?

You're fired!

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire?

Mourning wood

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Whats a pirates favourite kind of wood??

Seeder

How far can you run into the woods?

Halfway, any further and you're running out.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you call a carpenter who needs fewer nails?

Jesus

Why did the foot smile?

He was toe very happy. Jesus that is awful.

Muhammad Jokes More Muhammad Jokes

Why did Muhammad cross the road?

Because he had the right of way.

What did the imam say to Betere when he disrespected Muhammad praise be his name?

Ah jihad to Betere. Ah you had to be there