2x4 Jokes

What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination?

He sawdust.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?

He's always nailed to the boards....

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

How do you greet people at a funeral?

Mourning, everybody!

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What is a Dutchman who lost his driving license?

Homeless.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What you call it?

Takes back mixtape* FIRE!

What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?

Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.

What does a French carpenter say when he runs out of nails?

I haven't a clous.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

When his hand caught fire!!

What's a nice guys favorite type of wood?

M'hogany

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope?

Pluto.

What family does the octopus belong to?

Pupil: Nobody I know!

Muhammad Jokes More Muhammad Jokes

Why did the Muslim CEO dislike the cartoon of Muhammad?

Because it wasn't prophet maximizing.

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.