What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

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Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it?

Coconut

What has an R at the beginning, a T at the end, and EPOS in the middle?

Most of the jokes in this subreddit.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What if we need to hide bodies?

Me: I love you.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Need to know ASAP.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why did the heart get sent to police station?

Cardiac arrest.

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

What's Irish and sits on a deck?

Patty O'Furniture

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

Which big cat should you never play cards with?

A cheetah!

Knock knock. Who's there? Adelia. Adelia who?

Adelia the cards after you cut the pack!

Spade Jokes More Spade Jokes

Who's there! Acis! Acis who?

Acis spades!

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car.