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Card Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

What animal should you never play cards with?

A cheetah

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

Why didn't the sailors play cards on the deck?

Because the captain was sitting on the top of the deck.

What's your funniest yet least known joke?

I have a friend that absolutely loves cheesy, question and answer jokes and I wanna make a card with a list of them! The problem is that she knows just about every joke known to man so I challenge you to give me hilarious, short jokes that aren't very widely known. Make me laugh!

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie?

CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!

Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs. Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Who's there! Adelia! Adelia who?

Adelia the cards after you cut the pack!

Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?

Because the captain stood on the deck.

Love

Love

Why can't you play cards on a small boat?

Because someone is always sitting on the deck.

Which big cat should you never play cards with?

A cheetah!

Whats the worst animal to play cards with?

A Cheetah.

Why cant you play cards on a rowboat?

Because you're sitting on the deck...

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs!

Who's there! Alligator! Alligator who?

Alligator for her birthday was a card!

What if I'm always just inexplicably shuffling a deck of cards?

Would you buy that Like "whoa, who's that drifter!"

Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh

Where the hell did you get?

The barkeep asks. "I won it, playing cards", says the pig.

What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

Mule-tide greetings.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

Why should you never play cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs

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Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of car would the Hamburglar drive?

A Hamburghini.

What type of bonds deals with the bad guys?

James

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Where did our son go?

What son *Dad cries with joy

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What fish is made of only two sodium ions?

2 Na

What did the 2 say to the 3?

Do you even, bro?

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

Why is paper money more valuable than coins?

When you put it in your pocket you double it and when you take it out you find it in creases. -

What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?

I can't believe someone would stoop so low.

Luck Jokes More Luck Jokes

What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?

I'm at wick's end.

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

Report Card Jokes More Report Card Jokes

What did little John Cena say to his primary school teacher when she gave him his report card?

You can't C me!

How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

Green Card Jokes More Green Card Jokes

Why should you never play Uno with a foreigner?

Because they will always steal the green cards.

Wrong Place Jokes More Wrong Place Jokes

How do you get herpes of the eye ball?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Why did the cowboy have a brown moustache?

Cause he was Lookin' for loooove in alllll the wrong places.