Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!
Something I usually have after a long night of drinking.
Fantastic
He thought they'd want to hear that back at the farm, he likes doin' chickens right also.
Because the German army likes to march in the shade.
A stillborn.
Men jiggle the nozzle afterwards.
Back achoo!
It's Minute Made
A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"
My toe sis!
Limp Biscuit
It hurts when IP.
SINGLE
He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)
