What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

This joke may have profanity.

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What kind of engine did you put in it?

Cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

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1 if you hit him just right

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What did the Canadian say when asked what he thought about stereotypes?

Eh.

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

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What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

A boat-ique....I'll get my coat.

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A coat of arms!

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What's the worst part of having to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it

What's the worst part about having Alzheimer's?

To get to the other side

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Why does the Italian pasta maker always get locked out of his house?

Because he has gnocchi

What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

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Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

What key do you need to open a banana?

A monkey

Abortion Clinic Jokes More Abortion Clinic Jokes

Hanger Jokes More Hanger Jokes

What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

Why do you never see a pregnant plane?

They always go to the hanger.