Why did the Englishman wear a tie to his vasectomy?

Because he wanted to look mptnt

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Why doesn't Jesus Play Hockey???

Because he doesn't want to be nailed to the boards.

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

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Which dog looks like a cat?

A police dog in disguise.

Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

Englishman Jokes More Englishman Jokes

What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?

The referee

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why don't women wear skirts during winter?

They'll get chapped lips!

Why do mermaids wear bras?

To cover up their Ariel-as.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent.

Vasectomy Jokes More Vasectomy Jokes

What do you want to have next?

Me: a vasectomy

What's the difference between a guy with a vasectomy and a guy without a vasectomy?

There's a vas deferens.