Englishman Jokes

What do Englishmen like more than tea?

Tea tea

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What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?

The referee

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

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Vlad Jokes More Vlad Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place.

Colonel Jokes More Colonel Jokes

Why Colonel had a bunch of underwears?

Because, Brigadier General asked him to debrief his team.

How did colonel Sanders take over the chicken market?

A coup.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What does an invisible watermelon look like?

Like that.

How can you tell an introverted Techie from an extroverted Techie?

An extroverted Techie looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What brand of shoes do chickens wear?

Reebok bok bok

Why did the mermaid wear SeaShells?

Because she outgrew her B-Shells. Ha...

Vasectomy Jokes More Vasectomy Jokes

What do you call it when a King gets a vasectomy?

A heir cut

What's the difference between a guy with a vasectomy and a guy without a vasectomy?

There's a vas deferens.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?

He wanted to get his Car tuned

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What has 50 legs but cant walk?

Half a centipede!

How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Please get out of the swimming pool

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark?

A Led Zeppelin

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired