Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

To draw the curtains!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

Why didn't the man go under the boardwalk?

He doesn't like giving in to pier pressure.

Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

What did one pencil say to the other?

2B or not 2B?

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Draw Jokes More Draw Jokes

What's the difference between shame and pride?

It depends on where I draw the line.

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Curtain Jokes More Curtain Jokes

Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed?

He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.

Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

To draw the curtains!