Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

This joke may have profanity.
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What keyboard layout does Miley Cyrus use?

TWERQY.

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

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What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables.

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What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

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What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money?

In the Piggy bank

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What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast?

Sugar Puff Daddy

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

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What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

Sweet Sour Pork Jokes More Sweet Sour Pork Jokes

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?

He wanted sweet and sour pork!