82 Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

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Which number confuses people?

82

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Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

How do you confuse Pareto?

Tell him you belong to "the" 20%.

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because all of it's Uncles were Aunts(Ants)

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

What do they say when a woman falls over?

FULL SPEED AHEAD!" Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch v=OA8TlOsVw#t=82

What kind of ideas do blind people get?

Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What is a Canadian vampire's favourite drink?

Type Eh.

What do you call a nice Canadian meal on a colorful roof?

Poutina.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

What's your strength?

Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people in silicon valley better coders than others?

Because of their proximity to the

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

Https Jokes More Https Jokes

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

What do they say when a woman falls over?

FULL SPEED AHEAD!" Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch v=OA8TlOsVw#t=82

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

Where can you find the speed of light?

At C level