82 Jokes

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Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why did the ambulance show up to a tennis match between Number 8 and Number 9?

The umpire called it: nine won one.

Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?

Because seven ate nine.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?

The knocking always speeds up.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

How many women have you slept with?

She asked. I said, "Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten " "Oh, I say. Go on then." she laughed. I said, "0."

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

Why are there no good jokes about engineers?

Zzzzzzzzz, wait, I fell asleep at the punchline.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What's the shortest possible sentence in Canadian English?

Sorry, eh.

What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones?

Phil, eh?

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

What did the pasta noodles say to the sauce when it was scared?

Don't be alfredo.

What did the black student get on his SATs?

Barbecue sauce

Https Jokes More Https Jokes

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel?

IM Groot.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do graveyards have fences?

Cause everyone's dying to get in!

How are cats like empty wine bottles?

I'm probably gonna die surrounded by both.