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9 Month Jokes

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

How long does it take for a White woman to take a crap?

9 Months.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months?

A school application.

Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.

Why are men better cooks?

They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

Why did the carpenter's wife leave him?

He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why does a cow need a bell?

Because its horn doesn't work.

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

Sausage Jokes More Sausage Jokes

Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???

Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door

What did the critic think of German food?

Their sausages are the wurst.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures?

Narcolepsy

What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

How did The Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.