Alot Jokes

Why do some people cough alot?

Because they drink to much coughee.

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What did gangster Pooh said to gangster Tigger?

Tigga please!" Sorry, I heard it years ago. I don't remember where or when but I've just been saying alot lately.

What did the plant say to the other plant that it really liked alot?

Let me be your *soil*mate

What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast?

Hash with alot of Salt

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

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Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's a lannister's favorite pop star?

Katy Perry, because you're going hear her roar

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why don't women like to wear dresses in the winter?

Chapped lips

What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea?

Nah. I'ma stay.

T Jokes More T Jokes

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

How can a thing be heavier than it is?

T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic

Sin Jokes More Sin Jokes

What's the difference between a sin and a shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to take it out.

What is your sin, child?

My husband and I are arguing That's very common....about my boyfriend.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people so sad in Ferguson?

Because they live in misery

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do Greeks use to listen to music?

Spartify

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy