America Jokes

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

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How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Why is there a 100,000 oil limit in World of Warcraft Garrisons?

Because anything more than that might cause an invasion by the United States of America!

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

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Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

Bank Jokes More Bank Jokes

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

Why was the robber bionic?

He was holding up a bank.

Justice Jokes More Justice Jokes

What is it called when a guy called Justin gets justice?

Justinice.

What will you be having to drink?

Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.

2017 Jokes More 2017 Jokes

What will they call her in 2017?

Madam President.

How long does it take for George R.R. Martin to finish a Reddit post?

Answer coming Fall 2017.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

North America Jokes More North America Jokes

What's North America's most famous red wine?

Give back our land!

Why is North America so salty?

Because its Na.

Scare Jokes More Scare Jokes

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?

He was a card shark!

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Quicksilver Jokes More Quicksilver Jokes

What is Captain America's shield made of?

Vibranium. What is Hawkeye's Shield made of **Quicksilver**

What's Hawkeye's Shield Made Out Of?

Quicksilver