Scare Jokes

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

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What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

How do you scare away a Vestiphobic?

Say "Shoo".

How did Satan turn an unbeliever holy?

He scared the hell out of him.

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

Why did the man put a dead tiger on his lawn?

To scare off Cat burglars!

Why dont blind people go skydiving?

It scares the hell out of the dog.

What happens when you go to the bathroom scared?

A spooky dookie.

Why is it bad for blind people to skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

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How do you scare a snowman?

You get a hairdryer!

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?

He was a card shark!

Why was the black kid scared when he had diarrhea?

He thought he was melting.

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!

What do you get when you scare a tree?

Petrified wood.

When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?

When they lose their haunting licenses.

What do coffee beans say to scare their friends?

Brew.

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

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Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

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Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

What did the curtain rod say to the blinds?

Nice shades. (sorry)

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What did little John Cena say to his primary school teacher when she gave him his report card?

You can't C me!

What did the pirate get on his report card?

Seven C's

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Why is apple afraid of microsoft?

Because 7 8 10

Why was Windows afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 10.

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How to not get scolded by your parents if you want GTA V?

Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

Weeaboo Jokes More Weeaboo Jokes

What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

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What do you call the international program that helps clowns with their personal space problems?

Clowns Without Borders.

What did the clown say after having a few drinks?

I'm feeling funny

People Jokes More People Jokes

What type of people do vampires like?

Type O positive people.

Why are people into Flat Earth Theory?

Because it's edgy.