Blind Jokes

How do you blind a Chinese man?

Lay floss over their eyes

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Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares their dogs too much

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

Because he forgot to check his blind side.

Why can't blind kids have imaginary friends?

Their i's don't work

Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind...

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them

How do you blind a woman?

You put a windshield in front of her.

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds?

The coming of the lord

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

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What did the curtain rod say to the blinds?

Nice shades. (sorry)

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

How can you instantly blind an Asian person?

Put a steering wheel in front of them

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

How do you blind an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

What does the blind say when he walks past the fish market?

Hello ladies.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy

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How do you make a motherboard?

I asked him. He said, "Tell her about my job."

What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?

A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!

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What do you do if your video card driver keeps crashing?

Take away it's drivers license.

Why are so many Koreans named Park?

Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.

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What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

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Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store?

Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!

Why is Kevin Hart the opposite of Michael Schumacher?

His life improved after he met the rock.

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What do you mean the school must be haunted?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

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Why did the rapper die after being shot?

He forgot 2pac his bullet proof vest

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.