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Blind People Jokes

What kind of ideas do blind people get?

Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind.

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How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

What happens when two blind people see each other?

They don't.

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

What do blind people think of a basketball?

It's a never ending story.

Why is it bad for blind people to skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog

What do you call scriptures for blind people?

The holy braille

Why can't two blind people get along?

They can't see eye to eye.

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Why was everybody too afraid to go to the barber?

He committed barbercide.

What crime did the tree commit to be put in tree jail?

Treeson

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Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find her?

Because she's Transparent.

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

Where does a librarian sleep?

Between the covers. I will now show myself to the door.

How can you tell if a good ole boy from North Carolina is married?

There are tobacco spit stains on BOTH the doors of his truck.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of currency do they use in space?

Starbucks

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

Patchouli Jokes More Patchouli Jokes

Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?

I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.

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What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

What did the black student get on his SATs?

Barbecue sauce

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

What do you call a dead guy hanging on your wall?

Art.